Is it wrong to have sex before marriage?

So, most Americans have probably heard at one point in their lives that it is wrong to have sex before you are married.  Some people heed those words and avoid sex before marriage, but most people either decide the theory is a lie and dive in or decide the theory is truth, but fall in.  In our post-modern culture, a lot of educated people would say that only the individual can decide for themselves if sex before marriage is wrong.  In other words, if you think it is wrong, then it is wrong, but if you think it is right; it is right.  Christians have often been accused of being “closed-minded” because they often take a strong stance against sex before marriage.  Further, Christians have often been judged and ridiculed as being “hypocritical” the moment someone finds out that they “fooled around” or had sex before marriage.  Yet, the common person (religious or not) would typically say that it is wrong to lie, but everyone has told a lie before, right?  So, since Christians hold to a truth found in the Bible, that premarital sex is wrong; should they be so harshly judged as “hypocritical,” when every person who has ever walked this earth has broken their own rules???

As a Christian myself, I’m not advocating any sort of sex before marriage; I am simply asking people to think before they judge and I am encouraging Christians that no matter how far they have gone; it is never too late to do things differently!  Now that I have your attention, I want to answer the question; “Is it wrong to have sex before marriage?”  First I must define what I mean by “sex.”  Sex is anything “Hot & Heavy.”  This is why they say, “SEX SELLS!”  You don’t hear any advertisers saying, “Intercourse sells!” or “Oral Sex sells!”  Please do not tell me that half-hour “make-out-sessions” don’t get you in the mood for more!  If you can make out for a half-hour with a guy/girl you like or think is hot and not want nothing more, then you are not like the rest of us (kudos to you)! 

So, is it wrong before marriage or not?  Yes!  I know my “absolute” answer is not the most popular response.  Good thing I’m not in high school anymore and I don’t care if I’m popular.   Truthfully, in 8th grade I searched high and low for the answer to this question; the answer that I wanted to hear.  I wanted to find some Bible scripture that said it was OK for me to have at least a little sex before marriage.  The problem was that I could not find one stinkin verse to back up my hormones!  So, I had to make a decision.  Did I want to believe a lie and do want I wanted to do, or did I want to accept the truth and either not do want I wanted to do or do what I wanted to do and feel guilty?”  Being a girl who loved Jesus, I knew I had to accept the truth.  Darn!  But wait….I am 26-years-old now, married, and saved sexual intercourse for my husband!  I was not sexually perfect before I met my man, but I had saved a lot of myself for the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with.  Thank God for His “Black and White” commandment.  Who would not want to give this gift to their future spouse???

Now, some may be asking, “What makes the Bible have the final authority on what is truth?”  Before I even attempt to logically answer this question, I must state that ultimately one must have faith in Christianity to give the Bible this type of authority.  I will say to my skeptics, however, that the Christian Bible is an ancient and historical book that has kept consistent (besides some grammatical and misinterpretations along the way) for thousands and thousands of years!!!  If you don’t believe me, do a study on “The Dead Sea Scrolls.”  Further, the Bible offers life, meaning, and purpose.  God does not tell His people to ”wait till marriage” for the heck of it.  He has better things to do than ruin your fun!  God commands us to be sexually pure for our own sake!  What?  Why????

Sure, “hook-ups” are fun for the night and sex within a serious relationship is actually expected.  But, what happens to you when you feel dirty or rejected the next morning or things did not work out between you and your partner?  I will tell you what happens….if you are smart enough not to get pregnant or an std; you will still not escape the emotional havoc of it all. Perhaps you have done this so much that you no longer feel any sense of remorse, but if you look at your heart deep down inside; I would guess you feel lonely and empty.  Partner after partner will never fill that void!  Even a husband or wife cannot completely fill this void!  Truthfully, the only thing that can fill this void completely is a constant (daily) relationship with Christ.  Before you feel all judged and mad at me……

I understand the struggle not to get “hot and heavy” before marriage, because I have been there.  The desire and need for sex is natural and believe it or not, God created us that way.  If you strongly desire sex, God wants you to find a great man or woman, get married, and “do it” all the time.  The reason he requires us to get married is for our own sake.  Lets face it, relationships are hard, and when sex is added; everything becomes more complicated!  We make ourselves very VULNERABLE to another person.  Therefore, when the “crap hits the fan” and things are not going well, we want to fight or flight!!!  A lot of times, dating relationships and “hook-up” buddies are easy to get out of when hell beaks loose (and it does in all close relationships)!  Someone decides at some point to bolt, and someone ALWAYS gets hurt.  When you are married and you guys start wanting to kill each other, running is not so easy!  Why?  Because you made a committment before your closest friends and family to stick it out (ahhhh)!  Even, the law holds you to it and often makes it a pain to undo.  While you can run, if you really love someone, you will fight it out until you figure it out because you know everyone is expecting you to (aka: accountability=a good thing).

This is not a message of condemnation for all of us that have messed up and disobeyed God because God is always ready to forgive us.  All we have to do is ask him to and try to turn away from sexul sin.  It may be a daily battle for some, but well worth it!

Please post, I would like to hear your opinions, questions, and experiences!

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